Walking through hell all smiles

Hey guys,

This week was still pretty hard. Every day I'm figuratively getting kicked while I'm down. I wonder why the first year of my mission was pretty easy (don't get me wrong, it was still hard in different ways), tapi tiada banyak masalah, and the last six months have been excruciatingly hard. I can't wait to have good chats with Heavenly Father after I die and figure out if I learned everything I was supposed to when He wanted me to haha. I showed my roommates my pictures from the rest of my mission and even with weeks like this, I'm grateful for every day. I've had an incredible mission. It makes me sad it's ending fast. Sister Opatha has been a good companion to me and is way patient with me being bummed all the time.

Despite the setbacks, I think one thing I'm supposed to learn here is how to be a kingdom builder. The church members in the Singapore 1st Ward are true saints. They have incredible families and we've had a handful of new families move in from the States or Europe or wherever, and the first thing they ask the bishop is "How can we help?" I'm starting to get what true charity means as they invite the missionaries over for dinner and offer to give us their food (which they import from America) and their time, even though they're all incredibly busy with their careers and their families. I feel silly offering to help them because they help the missionaries more than we can ever thank them for, and they usually say the same for us. They are willing to take the time out of their schedules to meet with us, or to help us reactivate people who've fallen away, or help us teach our investigators. They love missionaries and they understand missionary work is important, even though ex-pat life is usually pretty transient. I see these families and hope I can be half as wonderful as they are when I have a family of my own.

That reminds me, we had dinner with a new family who just moved here from California, and because the dad works for the embassy, they offered to give us cereal from the States, and they gave us real American milk. I just love it so much better than the boxed kind I drink here haha. And as we were leaving, they said, "You're from Oregon right? Take some Tillamook cheese!" It's the little things.

Another thing that gives me hope every week is meeting with our ward mission leader, John. He is the sassiest Scotsman I've ever met, and straight up brilliant. If I remember the story right, he got sick of college so he quit, shrugged, and built his own company in Singapore. Because why not? He was also an incredible missionary. He served in the UK, and while the other missionaries were teaching about 5 lessons a week, he'd average about 40 lessons a week because he knew how to work with the church members and ended up teaching their friends. P.S. His wife is gorgeous and perfect and from England (blessings of being a good missionary you guys). He's been really good about helping us get into the minds of the church members, and in turn the members have been talking to their friends about the church and about maybe meeting the missionaries. It's funny to see him roll up from his office wearing jeans, a half-buttoned white shirt, and Adidas classics in the fancy financial district of Singapore with all the suits and ties. He tells us "There are all these high end restaurants over here, but I just like Quiznos. Why? Because they make my life easy." Who is this guy?

On one of these days where we met with him to discuss our investigators (and the general lack of missionary work happening in our area), Sister Opatha and I were feeling pretty down because, like I said. There was no way our WML could know, but he told this story from his mission that made us feel better. Something along the lines of how he doesn't know why certain missionaries are put into hard areas, or why really good, obedient missionaries go their whole missions without getting any baptisms while others get dozens, and then he acknowledged that the area that we were in was hard to be in. Then he realized he went into a tangent and went back into talking about our mission game plan again, but internally Sister Opatha and I recognized how inspired he was and that it was nice for the Lord to give us encouragement. Even if it was through a sarcastic Scottish guy haha.

Yesterday we all forgot Elder McCarthy's birthday and I feel pretty horrible about it, even though he intentionally didn't tell anyone because he hates attention. He found out Sister Opatha and I ran out of food so he and Elder Andrus promptly forced us to take their food. I'm lucky I get to serve with the most Christlike elders in the history of missionary work (no offense Ammon and Alma). He's a whole 19 years old now, to which I said, "Wow, I remember when I was 19..." It's weird to be reminded he's so young, because he's incredibly kind and mature and it's weird to think that young men can carry themselves the way they do at such a young age. (Also it sucks being reminded that I'm an old lady in the mission now). But every now and then I remember how young they actually are when Elder McCarthy reminds everyone he doesn't know how to talk to girls haha. I had a way good chat with him this week where he recounted his horrible experiences from boarding school and I shared all of my bad experiences from my "lowly public school" and we had a good laugh.

Everyone, thanks for the sweet emails this week and last week. They were really encouraging and it freaks me out how a lot of you said things I've been thinking about this week. I was thinking of the lyrics from a way cheesy The Script song about walking straight through hell with a smile. It came out when I was stranded in Pasadena and I would go running to it, and as embarrassing as it is to admit, I kind of loved that song. I loved the image of cruising through hell and giving Satan a wave because nothing he does matters. Mikel wrote this to me this week: "I know you; you always seem to have a smile on your face even in the midst of adversity. You keep doing that and you'll shine brighter than anyone else and people will notice that and will develop a curiosity as to why you're smiling when everything else sucks. THAT makes you an inspiration to us all." He's sweet.

There's also the song:

That soul that on Jesus hath leaned on for repose,
I will not, I cannot desert to his foes.
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I'll never, no never forsake.

Love you guys.

People throw rocks at things that sparkle (think about it).

Happy Deepavali everyone!

xo Sister Wynn

Sakit hati, aku lemah sangat

Hey guys,

Well I'm depressed (in the sons-of-Mosiah sense of the word and not the clinical sense) but like always, how would I grow if the mission was easy? The work here is HARD and I've been feeling so inadequate lately so I'm not going to talk about that stuff. Luckily Sister Opatha is way good about picking me back up.

I had my interview with President Mains this week. I didn't have the heart to tell him I miss Malaysia and rather told him I hope he knows he can send me anywhere and put me with any companion and I'll make it work somehow. I meant it but as I said it my heart kind of had this sinking feeling and I wondered to myself why I'm so self-sabotaging.

He and Sister Mains attended our ward with their son yesterday, and I don't know why it was so weird for me to see them as normal church-goers. I think it's because they're in Malaysia half the time.  It's weird that they actually live in our ward. Elder Ferguson dubs our ward "the fat ward," not because the members are fat (in fact, they're all actually pretty beautiful and insanely successful temporally and spiritually) but because the missionaries who serve here get fat off of all of the incredible food the members make for us. For those of you who were concerned about my health, know that all the good American (and Mexican) food they're feeding me is plumping me right back up. We also noticed that all four of us missionaries are skinny as twigs, so it's a good thing we're here.

We had a zone activity on Thursday evening called "The Singapore South Zone Blitz."  We all met up at City Hall, went on exchanges, and conquered the nation. Sister Proffit and I walked and talked to incredibly prepared people and found ourselves all the way by Little India and Bugis. I thought it was cool that we knew the city well enough to feel our way back using the buses. We met up with our zone again, and Elder Harr and Elder Anderson took us to this field that was surrounded by all the skyscrapers in the business district of Singapore. It was night time by then and it was so beautiful. We sat and talked about all the miracles we saw that night and committed ourselves to being more bold in talking to everyone.

I talked to a really sweet Melayu lady and she told me my Malay was good and that I had an Indonesian accent, but it's good because it's more polite-sounding. Sister Anderson also told me all of the members in Kota Sentosa branch said I had really good Malay. Mana ada, because I feel like my Malay is still pretty mediocre, but I'll take it.

I had a couple cool spiritual experiences this week that I won't go into too much detail about. For our district meeting, Elder McCarthy asked us to think about the weakest part of our testimony, then to study and pray about it for a few minutes, and then boldly testify of it in front of everyone. I was already trying not to cry when it was my turn, but I stood up and said with all the conviction I had that I know God numbers His people, and that the Atonement of Jesus Christ applies to everyone, not just the members of His church. We all felt pretty vulnerable but it was one of those experiences where we felt closer.

I was praying one night to be more Christlike, and thought of all the missionaries I admired and how frustrated I was that I am a little irreverent. But then I had this thought that I can still be Christlike and lighthearted, that I can still be kind and laugh a little loud, and I know that thought didn't just come from myself. I was grateful for the feeling that I was doing all things better than I thought I was.

One of the fun things about serving in Singapore is I get to meet some of the most fascinating people. One of my favorites this week is this Indian lady we talk to every once in a while. She hangs out at the bar called "Bojangles" by the church, and she's really fair-skinned. I didn't even know she was Indian until she told me because she speaks almost perfect English. She just sits outside of the bar most days, sipping a beer. In one of my conversations with her, she told us all about how she learned at a Catholic school by Irish nuns, and about how she's lived all over the world. She commended us for our missionary work and said, "You girls are doing a damn good job."

I had to chuckle a little and was grateful that at least somebody was kind to us.

Yesterday at church, our potential investigator who was invited by another mom had a good experience, so hopefully that'll turn into something. Thank goodness for awesome member missionaries. As Sister Opatha, Elder McCarthy, Elder Andrus and I go around strengthening the members, we realize how busy they are but we're grateful they're trying to share the gospel with their friends (a hint to all of you guys back home). Also, watch out for that ebola.

xo Sister Wynn

Sister Wynn's E-mail from October 13

Selamat P-Day everyone,

I apologize in advance if this email is singkat. I just turned to Sister Opatha and asked, "What did we do this week? Did anything exciting happen?"

But I'm long winded, so I'm sure I'll find stuff to write about.

Last week for P-Day, we went to the beach, each, and Sister Parcell and I got to show off our ultimate frisbee skills from all those P-Days playing ultimate the last time we were in Singapore. I'm living the dream. There's a good group of missionaries in Singapore. They're all so young though and they love reminding me how soon my mission is ending haha. We went to Baja Fresh with Elders Capener and Ferguson beforehand because we were carting them all around Singapore, so I thought I was going to die running around on the sand.

Also, I guess Elder Ferguson's concussion wasn't good, so he got emergency transferred here from JB, which he was bummed about, but Sister Parcell and I were ecstatic because it's like the old KL district is reunited!

Um this week was biasa sahaja, talked to about a million people and invited them to learn about Jesus Christ and of course no one was interested, did service at the YWCA, ate some incredible food at member's homes, had a couple lessons.

General Conference was SO good. It was weird hearing it in English this time around, and it was weird thinking this would be my last conference on my mission. I loved how some of the talks were translated from other languages. I love that this church is all over the world because everyone is a child of God. I love the humor. I love and sustain our leaders.

On the way to the chapel, my roommates and I came across this guy screaming at his girlfriend, and she was just standing there bawling. I stopped and almost said something, but then we kept walking. I asked Sister Proffit if we should ask if they're all right, and we almost did, but we didn't. And I regret it. I thought of all those times I was yelled at by a crappy boyfriend or someone and would have appreciated some to rescuing.

I might not be my brother's keeper, but I am my brother's brother.

I feel like since I've been back in Singapore I see more stuff like that and it makes me grateful for the gospel and the peace that comes with it, but what's the point if I can't even intervene and use it to help someone?

Tender little mercy: Sister Opatha and I worked SO hard this week. We planned our week carefully and had meaningful activities for all those empty hours, and talked to everyone, everywhere, all the time. We were exemplary missionaries. But nothing came from it.

But then a couple members called us about some families they met in passing in the ex-pat community,and they're interested in learning and finding a church. I'm a believer that if we labor, God will do the work.

XO Sister Wynn

Tired But Not Weary

Hey guys,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w49_1a9X0Q

I'm happy. I never sleep well because this city is noisy but I'm okay with that. Last P-Day we all just played basketball and I was still feeling kind of melancholy, but I got to finally catch up with Sister Parcell. She was internally freaking out about being STL but she let me know I'm doing a good job and that we'll feel like ourselves again soon, so she's doing great. She said she ran into Elder Beckstrand because he was on splits with the APs and for some reason she felt like everything would be okay.

The next day I decided to start running again because everything hurt from inactivity, and I got to see Elder Hays and Elder Beckstrand playing basketball at the stake center, and Sister Parcell was right, for some reason, saying hi to them and having them be happy to see me and tell me Arnold got the priesthood last weekend made everything okay. I also got to see Elder Parker and Elder Lambert and Elder Allen in passing as they came through Singapore for MLC and I asked myself why I was so blessed to have such good friends. Elder Parker did the usual "Wow you're so dead!" as we realized I have less than four months to pulai back to America.

Also, Elder Ferguson and Elder Capener came in from JB for the week because Elder Ferguson maaay have a concussion (bike accidents tidak boleh!) and they're sitting next to me right now as we berbual kosong and Elder Ferguson keeps telling me to simmer down. They love me. I'm grateful to keep seeing everyone in passing. They came to our ward yesterday and ran into Elder Allen's dad, who's in Singapore for business. I was sad I didn't get to officially meet him because I wanted to tell him his son's an incredible missionary/zone leader and he and Elder Hays doubled our baptisms in Kuching Zone for the quarter simply by telling us they loved us and to strengthen our relationship with Christ. Hilarious story for the week: Elder Allen told his dad to tell all of the Malay businessmen, "Saya seorang pondan," and they all laughed at him. Best prank ever. Mancaaal sikit.

The elders I'm serving with, Elder McCarthy (from the NZ) and Elder Andrus (from Pocatello Idaho), are incredible. They love everyone so much. Elder McCarthy is our district leader and always feels so awkward because he doesn't know how to talk to girls, but I think I'm figuring him out. He loves the sisters in his district because he thinks the WORLD of his little sister back home, macam itu. Sister Opatha was sick last weekend and they went out of their way to drop off some food for us.

We set up a wedding for an investigator couple from China. It was so nice to see the church members come together and decorate, make food/the cake, photograph, and be willing to serve. The husband bore a sweet testimony yesterday in church about how kind its members are and said something along the lines of "When we get baptized." Service is true you guys. I love the members here so much. I've been trying to figure out how to show it.

We also had a dinner appointment with this really sweet young couple from Texas, and they invited their friends over to meet us. During dinner, Sister Opatha and I were both prompted to throw out our original lesson plan and show "The Hope of God's Light" instead. I told them they mattered and they are loved and everything good in their lives came from God. It really resonated with them and we left a good impression. Then during church yesterday, this couple shared their experience introducing their friends to the missionaries, so hopefully that'll inspire other members to have their friends meet us. In this ward, most of our work NEEDS to come from members. It isn't as effective for me to contact a hugely successful expat living in Singapore on my own. But lately I've been going HAM on contacting on the buses and MRT anyway because I need to do things to show the Lord He can trust me. I pass off most of the people who are interested in learning to other missionaries, but that's okay. They're all important.

I went on splits with Sister Fa, and like usual, it was just a whole day of feeling validation and love from her. I was pretty discouraged in the morning. On the MRT, people actually walked away from me as I started a friendly conversation, and I didn't remember it being this hard the last time I served here. I wanted to give up and actually cry, right there on the train, but then I heard the words "You stand shoulder to shoulder with Christ." And in my stubbornness, I talked to even more people until I was able to find those people who were interested in learning the gospel. They were really kind and Christlike to me. Tender little mercies.

In one of our lessons, we decided to go over the story of Enos. I asked Sister Fa's investigator what she wants more than anything else, and she said "Happiness." Then she thought about it for a while and cried for a little bit. I asked her to plead with Heavenly Father to show her the answers, just like Enos did. Lately I've been pleading with Heavenly Father to give me courage to speak to people, even when they're rude, and pleading to show me how to earn the trust of the members here because we aren't going to get very far without them. I found some answers this morning in the scriptures and PMG, and I'm excited to talk to the other missionaries about it so we can come up with a game plan for this month. Just you wait, missionary work is going to be on fire in 1st ward.

I love that moment in "The Hope of God's Light" where Todd Sylvester gets it. Like a light bulb switching on. I love his face when he realizes God is there and He never left him alone. I remember that moment when I finally understood that I was a child of God when I was 14, pleading for the answers, and then later when I understood that I have a Savior when I was 19 and all the guilt, fears, and regret was swept away. It's true, God doesn't come down in a lightning bolt, but it felt like it.

-Sister Wynn