Pursuit of Happiness

Hey guys,

Well this week has been very interesting indeed. Still haven't gotten through my mid-mission crisis but boleh tahan haha. Elders Capener, Hays, Wilson, and I have discussed and decided that around the year mark for missionaries, everything bad happens to us in our personal lives and our mission lives. Elder Capener just came out of his, thank goodness. I like to think this is a refiner's fire for me, pretty soon the Lord will burn out all the dross (and tapeworms) and I'll just be a pretty little block of silver.

The good thing is despite being sick all the time, Sister Callor and I are best friends (how do I keep getting the best companions?) so being stuck at home for most of the week hasn't been bad. On Monday, we meet the Scott family at an FHE at President Changgai's house. I think it was way weird for Elder Scott, haha. I remember picking Mikel up in Japan and him saying it's strange when your mission life and personal life collide so dramatically. It was bittersweet to see so many of the members say goodbye to him. We sang Harap Tuhan Sertamu Selalu (God Be With You Til We Meet Again). Cliche right? So perfect though. I'm gonna miss that kid and his eternal five o'clock shadow.

Tuesday was zone meeting, and like biasa, Elder Hays and Allen rocked it. The title of this meeting was "The Pursuit of Happiness" which was perfect because last week I said "I've had a happy mission and a happy life." I'm a generally happy girl, and I've been promised unreasonable amounts of happiness in my life. I think of the adjectives I use in my emails to describe my mission, and in Malay, there's like two whole words for "happiness," kegembiraan and to a lesser extent senang, so you know it's a pretty big deal here too.

So why have I been so unhappy lately? They told us to keep developing our personal relationship with the Savior. Since we've been doing that since last transfer, our numbers in the zone have doubled. They want us to continue to do that, and also think of the things that have made us happy in our missions, and to write goals that'll help us be happier. Those two elders are pretty dang smart. I glanced over at Elder Hay's notebook and it says "Love the life you live." I need to ask him where he got it.

Well I took my worm pills, and everyone warned me that they'd wreck me, but they didn't. I just got super drowsy, had some trippy dreams, slept a lot, and my gums hurt a little. It was the weirdest experience. We took it easy for a couple days, and then went to the birthday party of the son of one of our investigator families. Man Bidayus party hard!

We were a little late because we stopped and helped this guy fix his flat tire, and by that I mean we called Elder Fletcher (remember him from Miri?) and asked him to bike across town and fix it for us because he's pandai car stuff. It was good to catch up with him again as I tried my best to help. I said "Remember when we were little greenies in Miri?" His Chinese is SO good now, not that it was bad before. It's crazy what a year can do. We got super greasy but tidapa.

The birthday party was cool because they asked us to open and close with a prayer, and I felt bad being a little late because there were like 50 people waiting for us, and I wondered vaguely if their little house would collapse from all of the people masukking it. Then they brought out vodka and beer (why is it always vodka and beer?) and I turned to Sister Callor in a panic and said, "This feels like high school all over again!" I just wanted to call my dad and tell him to pick me up haha. That was also Sister Callor's first experience being offered alcohol, the irony of it being on her mission. I declined politely but loudly enough for all the guests to hear. "Yup, we don't drink alcohol! We can visit you this week and explain why!" We made a mental note to teach this family the Word of Wisdom lesson soon. Why there was alcohol at a 3 year old's birthday party is beyond me.

Luckily, a lot of their friends and neighbors were really curious about the weird white girls at the party, and we contacted a lot of them and got return appointments. Most people in Kuching see us biking around, know that we're missionaries, but are too shy to ask anything.

The next day, Sister Callor and I were still feeling super lethargic, but we decided to go thrash the nations anyway because we were tired of being confined to the indoors. We stacked our day with appointments, including one way out in the boondocks in Matang. One of the families we contacted at the party is related to our investigator family and they wanted to meet and learn about the gospel! So we set up a pass-off lesson with the Matang elders and were excited to jalan-jalan across the Sarawak river.

We met with a recent convert before our journey to Matang, and she fed us a ludicrous amount of food and horlicks, this weird milk drink. Sister Callor downed it out of politeness, and then we biked away. It was so hot that day, stupid hot, so we tumbled off our bikes and threw up into a ditch together #compunity. It was the worst.

I went into what Elder Wilson calls "rage mode" and decided we were going to Matang anyway. Sister Callor agreed, so we biked the half hour out there. Once we got across the bridge, I got bitten by a couple ants that were stuck in my shoe, and thought to myself, "Why did I think going all the way out here was a good idea?" The phone number our contact gave us didn't even work when I tried it, and we had an address and I didn't know where it was. But when I called the elders that morning, I told them we were going on faith.

We met up with the elders at E Mart and Sister Callor and I sat on a curb and tried to rest. We pretended like everything was fine and followed them another half hour to the boondocks in Matang. We got hit by so much rain, I got splashed by a truck but it was kind of fun, then the clouds dissipated and we got hit by so much sunlight, but it was pretty. Matang is like the Idaho Falls of Malaysia, everything is pretty spread out but there are nice country roads everywhere. We found the right house and went in and I had one of my favorite pass off lessons to date. This family is so prepared to receive the gospel. They had so many good questions about how they could strengthen their family. Everything that went wrong about that day suddenly became worth it.

We biked back on some beautiful winding country roads, and then Sister Callor and I biked back to Kuching. About 2 hours, round trip. We collapsed when we got home, covered in mud, a little sunburned, and way happy. Sister Callor got super sick (we're pretty sure she had the flu last week and we just didn't know, whoops) so we called the Matang elders and asked if they were on our side of the river, and if they could bring us some 100 plus and pears please?

It was already 9:30 but they said boleh and wondered where they were going to find pears. The four of them went on a grand adventure and got a little lost in Kuching. They asked someone to help them find a fruit stand, and they followed him on a moto downtown, by Waterfront, and then past that to a sketchier part of town. Elder Wilson wondered to himself, "Isn't this around where those two European students got stabbed the other week?" and turned to Elder Yang and said, "Get ready to smack a fool." Exact words, I promise. Luckily Elder Yang grew up in the hood of L.A. so they would have been fine. Also, the man who helped them was indeed sincere and helped them find pears in the middle of the night. By the time they got to our house, it was so late, but they were just happy to help.

The Matang Elders = Knights in shining armor. 1 Nephi 8:10. The pears were delicious.

Despite this week kind of being crappy, it was still good. Even on my bad weeks, it's just goodness mixed in with a few dismal moments here and there. Here's to happiness.

Pagilak bertemu baru.

Love, Sister Wynn

Worms, gratitude, etc.

Hey friends and family,

Well first things first, I have tapeworms! This takes being immersed in a different culture to a whole new level. President and Sister Mains visited on Friday for interviews, and the first thing Sister Mains said was, "Sister Wynn, have you lost weight?"

"Um yeah I think so." We talked about me being sick, and actually, I had vomited about ten minutes before they arrived which was super obnoxious because I wanted to pretend like I was healthy for my interview. I also realized I've been kind of forgetting to eat for the last couple months, which is out of the ordinary because in all of my other areas I remember always being sooo hungry! So yeah, the diagnosis is worms, the remedy is worm pills to kill those little parasitic suckers and Sister Mains wants me to drink more milk to help me keep weight on. Except I think my mission is making me lactose intolerant, but we'll burn that bridge when we get there.

My interview with President was much needed. He is such an inspired man, everything he said were things I needed to hear, and there's no way he could have known. What I took away most from it was being reminded that Heavenly Father loves me, is pleased with the work I'm doing, and that I'm doing all things better than I think I am.

This week and the week before were so hard. On top of being stressed and worried and trying to bring people to Christ, I was pretty sick. Satan likes to kick us when we're down, huh? He didn't get to me by making me sick, that's just biology, but man does he get to my head. It felt like my insides were pulling apart, and it felt like the two lobes of my brain were shifting away from each other. I can't really describe it. But there were days where I really wanted to go home. This work is hard. I even said, "Sister Callor, I don't want to be a missionary anymore." Some days I want to be home, and listen to secular music, and wear jeans, and dress cute, and be with my family.

McDonalds delivery while sick.

But then I explained that it's okay because EVERYONE feels like this at some point, and I only let myself feel like that for a moment, then I happily get back to work. In those moments I remember my Savior. He knows exactly how I feel, and it's too important to tell others they have a Savior too. So I can't go home, and I never want to, not until my work here is done. I've had a happy mission, and a happy life. Here's to more good and bad days. I've never felt so close to God than I did this week, that's how we're supposed to face challenges, right? Instead of forgetting Him, or being angry in our trials, we need to be even more diligent in our prayers and our studies, and try even harder to be better people.

What's also helped me has been keeping a grateful attitude. I'm not going to list all my blessings right now because that would take forever, but I'm grateful I'm here. I've also been trying to focus more on how I can serve other people, we really do feel happier when we forget ourselves. When I'm constantly thinking about the people we're teaching, there's no time to feel sorry for myself.

I hope this email made sense, I'm pretty tired. Know that I'm happy, I'm healthy (healthier), and I'm laughing about the stupid tapeworms. I always was, it's pretty funny.

Yang benar,
Sister Wynn

Humble, Meek, Submissive

Hey guys,

I don't really know what to write this week. I forgot my SD card at home which is sad because I had some awesome pictures from this week.

You know that scripture about becoming as a little child? We may have taken that to the extreme with our Primary activity on steroids... I love the kids in our branch. We planned a ton of fun activities for them. We made them drink salt water and talked about how Christ drank the bitter cup. We blindfolded them and had them follow the iron rod all over the church. Elder Scott dressed up as Samuel the Lamanite and we threw stuff at him, and then we picked teams and had a Nephite-Lamanite war. After we surveyed the destruction in the church gym (I had a tie wrapped around my head like a bandana, chairs and tables and crumpled pieces of paper were everywhere) we looked at each other and said, "This might have been more for us than for them."

We also visited a couple families in Bintawa with the Pryzbylas and I thought Sister Callor's and my object lesson was pretty good, but in the next lesson Elder Stowell and Elder Scott dressed up as Captain Moroni and created a Standard of Liberty. So yeah, elders are just better at lessons haha.

We also ate biawak last night and Augustine's family made a feast of clams and biawak and every type of jungle fruit. Sister Callor and I were sick most of the week and I ended up barfing, but it's all good. Also a car ran over a biawak a couple days ago and I saw the elders smashing its head in with a rock, but it was different from the one we ate. I just thought I'd clarify.

This week has been hard but good and I just love serving here. Last week, we watched Finding Faith in Christ and I couldn't stop crying as we watched all of Jesus' miracles. Also, we nampaked a lady who was getting off of a bus, and I said hi as we biked by and rode down the hill. As I was picking up speed, I thought, "I should have talked to that lady. But now I'm already down the hill. Shoot I should really go back and talk to her."

I slammed on my brakes and said, "Sister Callor! We HAVE TO GO BACK!" So we ran back up the hill and searched for her but couldn't find her because it was already dark. I looked at the sky and yelled, "I'm sorry!" and we went on our way. I was sad and we said a prayer that we'd run into her again.

Then a couple days later, we were at the same place, same time, on the way back from visiting a less active family, and we saw the Bas Perkerja again, and the same lady got off the bus. We stopped her and spoke to her, and now she's getting baptized!

Just kidding, she wasn't interested at all, but God does answer prayers and I really need to do a better job at following promptings.

Yesterday, we walked to church after crashing at the other sisters' apartment because bike tire saya kena flat, and we got caught in the rain and we had a little too much fun. I called one of our investigators, Anthonia, and invited her to church. She was talking about the rain, and I was a little sad because I thought she was saying they didn't want to walk in the rain. But then she said, "Yeah I'm getting my kids' shoes on right now, see you later!" The faith of that family. And then her husband picked them up after church and loved seeing his kids playing with the other kids from church. He wants to come, but has work.

Anyway, I'm really going to miss Elder Scott. I learned SO much from serving with him, I'm grateful he extended and I'm grateful I got to serve with him for a transfer before he pulai America. He is a true friend. We have grand post-mission plans. He is an incredible missionary. He was a zone leader in KL branch for a long time, and so many of the members I love there are his converts. Seriously half of the active membership there are his converts haha. And here in Stampin, he strengthened the branch so much, and we were able to see so many miracles because of his decisions. I learned so many lessons in humility and charity from him. He is a disciple of Christ. He also was a carpenter haha. Elder Scott, if you're reading this, we're definitely snowboarding in SLC and visiting Sister Deborah in Bali and taking her surfing!

Sister LeBaron is also leaving in a couple days. Where would I be without her? She changed my life. She was the perfect trainer for me and I'm grateful we got to serve in the same mission for a whole year. I cherish our Miri adventures, and all the craziness like drunk Ibans, getting chased by dogs, having people break our hearts, having people steal our bikes, and then finding and teaching so many incredible people in all that chaos. She helped me believe that I'm beautiful inside and out, that I can change, and that I'm a good person. The reason I have incredible amounts of faith is because of her. We never gave up on people, and so many people have come to Christ because she was inspired. She was so patient with me too haha. We have waaay too many inside jokes and I know there's a reason Heavenly Father placed her in my life. Sis, you are brilliant and beautiful. I can't write enough to express my gratitude for what you've done for me. I look forward to family history club in Provo. If I die, you know what to do. Aku sayau ke nuan.

Anyway, life is good. This internet kedai is freezing. Over and out.

-Sister Wynn

Men are that they might have JOY

Hey friends and family,

Well I can't believe I've been a missionary for over a year. Time flies when you're having fun. This week was the perfect pie slice of missionary life in Sarawak, with all its ups and downs. It's also been fun to see how much my MTC elders have grown. They really are my 16 little brothers, I love them and they've all become incredible missionaries. They're lucky they have another year left of this, they gurau with me and tell me I'm so dead with my 6 months left.

I finally went to kampung! I used to think kampung was a curse, where the people I loved would go on holidays and get really drunk but I finally get the magic of kampung. It's kind of like the equivalent of when my family and I got in the car and would drive to Ashton, Idaho for the week. Just spend time with family, take in nature, play, macam itu. I totally get the magic of kampung. I can't wait for the day when missionary work expands enough for us to have the church out that far from the cities. The people who live out in the rural areas are beautiful, inside and out.

Wednesday morning, we piled into Elder and Sister Pryzbyla's truck and went to Sungai Apong to meet up with the elders' investigator family. Puguk, the COOLEST little old Bidayu man, gave me a sick hat with eagles on it, and I rocked it for the rest of the day.

We drove out to Kampung Sadir, about an hour away from Kuching (by Anna Ris) and Puguk, Augustine, and Siti had us meet their extended family out in kampung. Our original plans were to be fed and then help them harvest some rambutan, but expectations were a little misunderstood and they ended up parading us around their kampung, introducing us to family and neighbors. We were fed so much durian, some tea made from bark (no worries it's not black or green tea), sugar cane, rambutan, kari ayam, and everything else along the way.

They took us to a beautiful waterfall and Puguk acted like a little kid, stripped down to his skivvies and jumped in the watering hole and had the time of his life. It was so funny.

We met a paralyzed man who translated from Bidayu to English for the British during WWII, he is a war hero. He was paralyzed because when he was 20, a durian fell and hit him on the head in the jungle.

We explored a tree house (this family built a legit house in a rambutan tree because why not?) and Elder Scott and I helped him harvest rambutan. As he hacked away at the branches in his tree, we'd drag down the branches from the tin overhang and he ended up letting us keep a huge branch of rambutan.

THEN, we finally were able to do our service. Augusting led us to a rambutan tree by the side of the road, and Elder Scott naiked like a boss with his machete and gingerly cut away at the branches. I was careful not to get tagged as they fell, and the rest of us pulled the fruit off the branches. Then, a passerby climbed up the tree and helped Elder Scott, by hacking off entire huge branches haha. That's how we do it in Kampung Sadir. Later Elder Scott said, "I didn't know it was kosher to chop down basically the entire tree..." We pulai Kuching that evening and brought a lot of rambutan to the big Tabuan Dayak house where most of our active members (and their adorable kids) live. We shared the rambutan and the elders shared a scripture from Lehi's vision. The fruit of the tree of life was more desirable than any other fruit, right? What color is the inside of rambutan? White! It made me think about how if we believe in Christ, we will never hunger again. We will never thirst again.

It rained and poured on the way home. I loved it. (I also rode into a ditch and flipped over my handlebars, but I miraculously landed on my feet haha).

That day was one of the funnest of my mission. Look at my goofy smile in all my pictures. Senang laju, men are that they might have joy.

My year mark was biasa sahaja, but so good. Not much time for reflecting because we had people to see, souls to save haha. We have so many incredible investigators, so many prepared people who so badly want to follow Christ (and don't realize they're already really Christlike). We're finding new people everywhere in miraculous ways. I was a little discouraged yesterday because out of our many progressing investigators and many on date for baptism, only one came to church. I was kicking myself, we did everything, literally everything we could to get people to come to church. I had barfed that morning (welcome to the second world haha) but we still jalan-jalaned to pick some people up who weren't home. I turned to Sister Callor, pouting and said, "These people promised us not even 24 hours ago that they'd be here. Why aren't they here?"

Before I left for church, I skimmed Preach My Gospel chapter 1 about successful missionaries and figured I really do love people and desire their salvation. I feel the spirit working through me as I testify of Christ. I'm running myself down for these people because that's the only way I've found missionaries can be truly happy. I'm not yet the person Heavenly Father wants me to be, but I'm getting there, and I know He's pleased with my sacrifice so far. It's a good feeling. What a year.

Also, I'm sick, so sick. I just barfed in the internet kedai, haha. Just your average missionary. No worries, I'm taking care of myself, and I'm still feeling that JOY. :)

Love you guys, pagilah bertemu baru.

Sister Wynn