Well first things first, I have tapeworms! This takes being immersed in a different culture to a whole new level. President and Sister Mains visited on Friday for interviews, and the first thing Sister Mains said was, "Sister Wynn, have you lost weight?"
"Um yeah I think so." We talked about me being sick, and actually, I had vomited about ten minutes before they arrived which was super obnoxious because I wanted to pretend like I was healthy for my interview. I also realized I've been kind of forgetting to eat for the last couple months, which is out of the ordinary because in all of my other areas I remember always being sooo hungry! So yeah, the diagnosis is worms, the remedy is worm pills to kill those little parasitic suckers and Sister Mains wants me to drink more milk to help me keep weight on. Except I think my mission is making me lactose intolerant, but we'll burn that bridge when we get there.
My interview with President was much needed. He is such an inspired man, everything he said were things I needed to hear, and there's no way he could have known. What I took away most from it was being reminded that Heavenly Father loves me, is pleased with the work I'm doing, and that I'm doing all things better than I think I am.
This week and the week before were so hard. On top of being stressed and worried and trying to bring people to Christ, I was pretty sick. Satan likes to kick us when we're down, huh? He didn't get to me by making me sick, that's just biology, but man does he get to my head. It felt like my insides were pulling apart, and it felt like the two lobes of my brain were shifting away from each other. I can't really describe it. But there were days where I really wanted to go home. This work is hard. I even said, "Sister Callor, I don't want to be a missionary anymore." Some days I want to be home, and listen to secular music, and wear jeans, and dress cute, and be with my family.
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| McDonalds delivery while sick. |
But then I explained that it's okay because EVERYONE feels like this at some point, and I only let myself feel like that for a moment, then I happily get back to work. In those moments I remember my Savior. He knows exactly how I feel, and it's too important to tell others they have a Savior too. So I can't go home, and I never want to, not until my work here is done. I've had a happy mission, and a happy life. Here's to more good and bad days. I've never felt so close to God than I did this week, that's how we're supposed to face challenges, right? Instead of forgetting Him, or being angry in our trials, we need to be even more diligent in our prayers and our studies, and try even harder to be better people.
What's also helped me has been keeping a grateful attitude. I'm not going to list all my blessings right now because that would take forever, but I'm grateful I'm here. I've also been trying to focus more on how I can serve other people, we really do feel happier when we forget ourselves. When I'm constantly thinking about the people we're teaching, there's no time to feel sorry for myself.
I hope this email made sense, I'm pretty tired. Know that I'm happy, I'm healthy (healthier), and I'm laughing about the stupid tapeworms. I always was, it's pretty funny.
Yang benar,
Sister Wynn
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